Oopsie Cake

I have decided since I deactivated my Facebook, I at least need a place to write my random thoughts. So here I am. This mornings music selection was QUITE interesting. Started off with Nancy Sinatra, then went to Peaches. How that happened, I dont know. So being the outsider to many surrounding relationships it is easier for me to come to the conclusion that most people either:

A- Become addicted to their lover and lose their own ambition to further themselves.

B- Try to fill the void with the other person meanwhile it is them themselves who need to fill that void.

or

C- Settle because they are comfortable, or its easy.

I am NOT claiming I have not ever been in those situations. But on my path to self understanding I am realizing this is most relationships these days. I am glad to have been single this long. But on the other end of the spectrum I believe I am ready to start dating again. Especially now that I have this new view on relationships. I know now, that after everything I have been through I will not allow myself to be in any of the above mentioned positions. Now I am NOT here playing therapist or pointing fingers. I want ALL of my friends to be happy. But I want them to truly be happy, not just live in the momentary happiness that comes from someone else. We owe it to ourselves to not settle, to not let someone blind us of our path and to love ourselves more than anything. The issue I believe that is the most detrimental to climb in life is addiction to the person you love. I see it more of a waste of time. Yes that person can be truly amazing but if you lose sight of what your goal is, or even if you push things aside for the time being you are only hurting yourself and prolonging what you deserve. On top of it you eventually smother the other person by clinging and obsessing over making THEM happy. Number one folks, YOU need to be happy. Number two, think about it in the long run, do you want this person to consume your life that you will eventually end up resenting because you pushed your life aside for them?  Number three, Can you really see this person being by your side on your path, and growing with you? Like do you honestly believe if you get married with the other person be a knowledgeable loving parent to your child? I mean seriously folks wake the fuck up. Stop wasting time, love yourself. Only you will always be in your life and only you can control who disappoints you. Will you disappoint yourself in the end?

I have so much love and best wishes for all of you out there. I can only dream we all find what we are looking for.

<3

-Ashley